Tuesday, September 23, 2014

~ Losing Gaining Becoming ~

Every soul comes here for a reason!
Just like everything else in life that happened for a reason as we are here for a mission.
Some soul has made it many years on this earth and some not. 
Some were here for a period of time while the other just a few months inside the womb.
How can anyone explain the loss of the pregnancy and the reason why that happened to some of us again and again!
No one, except ourselves! 

I have lost my pregnancy a few months ago. It was my second time in this past 4 years.
The first time was an ectopic pregnancy in 2010 and was such pain, both emotionally and physically, but life goes on and I got through it or we got through it.
Out of the lost experienced my partner and I became closer, even though he could never feel how I felt, in fact no one does! 
Somehow it became such a deep touch between me and myself, the understanding of the self. The spirit and body emerge and self love playing a big part and all the healing journey begun.

On July 2014 I fell pregnant again and I got all excited about it. Many plans and thoughts arise in my mind the happiness and hope running through my heart and burst out through my very being.
But not too long before everything turn from head to tail.
It was hurt, but for some reason I felt it happens for a reason, the healing reason for me to clean out the past and the pain from my childhood. 
I believe the soul that was inside of me came to me for a reason.

The night before the surgery, I heard a voice inside myself tell me everything I need to know, the inner voice keeps me in the present moment and slowly I start to accept what has happened and there was no pain, even though I was bleeding, but I could feel the blood that´s flowing out of me is healing me and purifying me.
No more pain! No more bad memory! Now is the time to let go! And just Be!
Life has it´s own reason and I do trust life.
I am thankful for the soul that came through me. 
In those losses I was gaining and yet becoming WHO I AM today.

I write about it not because I need you to feel empathy or sad for me. I write because I want you to know that this is not the end of the world. What happened to us not the punishment, but the blessing, the opportunity to get to see the other side of the coin.

We cannot control life, we can only allow life to flow through us and with this understanding we will soon realize that actually we are life itself!
The unknown, the beauty, the truth!

~ ~


  1. I wept for you then admired you for your honesty, strength and love. I am sure your time will arrive and then you will make the most wonderful mum, love and light Sharon S

    1. ~ ♥ ~ Thank you so much Sharon. I´m glad you have walked across here. I feel your presence.
      Thank you ~ ♥ ~

  2. Hi May, What a beautifully heartfelt post. I too believe everything happens for a reason, both good and bad, and there is always something to come from it, whichever has happened. It is life. And we learn, and grow, and become stronger for it. We get learn more about ourselves too in the process.

    May your healing continue and I wish you all the warmth and happiness......Vanessa x

  3. ~ ♥ ~ Thank you so much Vanessa. Thank you the light that you share.

    Much love back to you..
    Stay Blessed ~ ♥ ~

  4. Thank you so much for sharing ... i am on a healing journey as well. I am a mother who lost her child. My son (raheemahullah) died in what was said to be a drowning accident at the age of 14yrs old. I felt your words to much ... cyber hugging you.

    1. ~ ♥ ~ Hi Ummu, I´m so sorry for your lost.. Many times things happened and we don´t understand why this has happened to us. Sometimes there are no answers for it. And nothing we can do to change it, but to look at it as it is part of life.
      May your healing journey brings you peace and courage to let go and may your heart will always feel love and support from your own soul, people around you and from life itself. ~ ♥ ~


~ ♥ ~ I´m glad you are here ~ ♥ ~